En, ego (confiteor!) non nisi laesus amo.

2006-09-03T01:19:45Z

I'm getting, or have gotten rather, a new journal. Now it's true that I like to change things all of the time. Sometime I have a two year thing, and this journal is two years old now. But that's not why I'm changing. I have no problem with LJ and have not tired of it. What I have tired of is my user name. Hekatides518 was something I picked in high school, when I loved Latin and had and interest in the occult, ha. It was during that time when I had given up Christianity, and I was just trying stuff out. I got the name from Hekate, Roman goddes of evil and what not, and the -ides is a latinism that means "son of" making my name Son of Hekate. Well, my interest in the occult was fleeting at best, but I got stuck with the name, because it just seemed like too much work to change it.

I'ma changing it now. My new LJ is knight_of_dis and my new AIM is Knight of Dis. So make the proper arrangements, all the one of you that cares.

Follow me down this new wonderfully dull chapter!

"You makin' me crazy the way you makin' me wait."

2006-08-14T19:51:31Z

Why do history classes require so many books? Not just many, but expensive ones at that.

Oh, well, I can take comfort that I at least already own three of the ones I'll need for Modern Latin America.

Course, they're the three cheapest.

And yeah, even Modern Latin America and the Frontier in America combined aren't more than the 400 dollars I had to spend on Modern America ALONE last semester.

It's a good thing I love books or I'd be bitter.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

2006-08-07T03:05:08Z

This weekend will long be remembered as the weekend in which many an awesome thing happened.

My car is now alive and relatively well. On top of that, my parents didn't make me pay for the whole thing which would have left me with pretty much no summer savings.

I have bought my ticket to New York, and in three weeks I shall be spending my first night at the luxurious Cliff Street eagerly dreaming of the classes to come. Not to mention seeing all the people I like to see again.

I watched the first season of the American The Office, and while it's not quite as good as the British version, it's still one of the best American sitcoms in recent memory. Plus, I have a feeling it only gets better.

MY FACE IS BALD!. I don't know if it was the heat or what, but I was sick of my beard so I made it gone. For some reason I seem to remember looking very strange without it, but maybe my face has settled down now or something because it looks very nice beardless. Although it looks very, very nice today with a day's worth of stubble. I think I will stick with this for a while.

Perhaps the most important happening (it may be tied with the beardlessness), I began and finished over the course of this weekend my pilot for Soledad. I must say nothing has felt more comfortable than Teaser-Act One-Act Two-Act Three-Act Four. It's like it's in my blood, people. I'm definitely more secure now about doing television straight up. I can totally write an episode of TV in 24 hours (if I do NOTHING else), and really what else do you need? Now I don't know if I should write the second part of the pilot, write another pilot I have on hold, or try my hand at an episode of an existing show. I think I may do the last one. The question is which? Veronica Mars, Battlestar Galactica, Smallville or House. Actually, House is probably out of the question since it involves knowing actual stuff about medicine. I don't know. What I do know is that I need a break from Soledad, as I've now written like 160 pages about her.

Ah, what a fun, sexy time this is.

"Well, you're magic," he said, "but don't let it all go to your head."

2006-08-01T20:45:04Z

Mother of God, today is the hottest day I think I've ever had the displeasure of living through.

It is also the first day of August, the month I return to New York! Yay!!

So, yeah, it's hot and school starts in a month. I thought I had an actual reason for posting...

I finished all of the available Battlestar Galactica. Uh, AMAZING! Just, wow, is all I can say.

I think sci-fi and fantasy are really only great when they're not bent on detailing out their mythology or technobabble. I think it's important for the creator to know all the details of the mythology/technobabble, but really, there's no need to share it all because I don't care. Just give me people, and I'm happy. Deeply flawed, morally ambiguous and hilarious people, in other words, REAL people, no archetypes, and I will watch whatever you've got. Drama first, mythology second. I think that pretty much draws the line between the sci-fi/fantasy I love and that which I hate.

That said, I've spent the last like month slowly building a history of the future because I'm insane. Really I had no intention of doing this, but when I finished the screenplay I started in Developing the Screenplay, Risus, I just felt like I wasn't done with the characters. Then I found that I had a huge thing that was really a contrivance to just make things easier for me, but actually ended up making things much more interesting complicated in the long run. Basically what was a contrivance for Risus is what inspired Soledad, and now I'm totally preoccupied with building this world.

Then there's my completely plausible plan for all this. First, I'll sell Soledad, and it will become a wildly popular show, y'all. So wildly popular, in fact, that there will be clamor for a big screen jump. That's when I'll strike with Risus as a "Who our hero once was and how she came to be." Throw in merchandising and licensing. It will be awesome. I will be rich.

Or I might get bored with this after a month, and I'll move on to something else without giving one thought back.

We'll see. Take your pick and we'll start a pool.

REAL MEN LOVE JESUS

2006-07-28T17:35:04Z

So I actually saw Superman Returns way back when it came out, and even thought my initial response was pretty much "...Wow." I had placed Superman Returns as my no. 1 supehero movie above even Batman Begins, but I think I jumped the gun on that one. I think it may be that I just really like Superman more than Batman. Don't get me wrong, I love Batman, but I've always been more of a blue and red person than a black and grey. It all comes down to their respective raison d’être. Superman is out to save the innocent, while Batman is set on punishing the guilty. When it comes to that I'm behind Superman.

I have this very specific vision about what each of these guys is like, and Batman Begins was everything I've always imagine about Batman, but after doing a lot of thinking off and on about Returns, it's really not how I like my Superman. At all. I think what they did, they did very well, but I just don't like Superman like that. Like what? Kyrptonian. Yes, Superman's alienation is something important, but he grew up on earth, so you know. The Ghost of the Disembodied Head of Marlon Brando says to Superman he says, "Even though you've been raised as human, you're not one of them" And to that I say, "Shut up, GotDHoMB!" It is my preference that yes, the flying and the powers, the super, are because he's Kryptonian, but I like to think that the reason he's a hero is because of something very human. In Returns the Ghost of the Disembodied Head of Marlon Brando send Kal to earth so that he can show us the light to blah blah blah. I'm sorry, but that's incredibly stupid. Why the hell does GotDHoMB care about humans? He and his planet are about to suffer a greusome end and he cares enough to take the time to send Earth a savior? I think saving your baby is really all the motivation you need, Jackass. Oy, now I'm to a dead character played by a dead actor. Did I just say "oy"? Where did that come from? Anyway, I like my Superman very much human. In other words, I like Clark Kent who was in the movie like five minutes total. It is often said that Superman is boring, and you know what? He is, but Clark Kent is a joy. I'm of the school that Clark Kent is the true identity and Superman is something he does because he can. In beautiful corporate synergy I managed to catch the first episode of Superman: The Animated Series like the day after I saw Returns in both of these he saves an airplane falling from the sky, and in both version he fucks up his first attempt causing the plane to fall faster. In Returns he quickly goes back into action, but in the Animated version he says to himself something along the lines of "Nice going, Clark," and I laugh at Superman being adorably doofy. That's when I really began to reevaluate the movie. I like Superman human, and being human he's very prone to error and being adorably doofy. Like I said, I think what Synger and the writers did, they did very well, but it goes against what I really see in superman.

That said who does get it right by my book? Right now it's a dead heat between the Animated Series/Justice League (Unlimited) and Smallville. Even though the animated version of him is very Superman-heavy, he's very Clark, and especially when he and Batman get together (not like that...yet) hilarity follows. Smallville is all Clark all the time because Superman hasn't been invented yet, and that's fine by me. I did stop watching it after its third season because of my The WB hate, but recently I caught the season four finale which I found fantastic. Yes, the show can get very WB-y at times, but I think it's the freshest most innovative incarnation of Superman to date. They give Clarg angst, for frakk's (don't ask, it just slipped out) sake, which even though it's kind of un-Superman, it's just fine. Clark's arrival to Earth via meteor shower ended up killing a few people (including the parents of his secret love), and creating monsters out of many others, so much for being the light to show us the way, GotDHoMB, which by the way Smallville's Jor-El could kick GotDHoMB's ass. Not to mention Smallville's Lex Luthor, who may be the best incarnation of that character, no, it is the best incarnation, but that just may be because Michael Rosenbaum seem to have scorching sexual chemistry with the most innanimate of objects. Hmm, I think that came out really, really gross, what I mean is no matter who he's on screen with, Clark, Lana, Chloe, Martha, Jonathan, his dad, a lamp, you're screaming "MAKE OUT ALREADY!" Since I mentioned Martha and Jonathan there, yeah, they also rock like a mountain. Chloe, who is an invention for the show, is like a prototype of Veronica Mars, down to the camera and the flippy blond hair. I almost forgot about Pete, poor under-used Pete. Okay, I'm not really talking about the show anymore just listing all the players. Basically, I love Smallville, and I'm very excited to catch up on seasons four and five. In the latter Spike -erm James Marsters plays Braniac which I bet was pretty awesome. I can imagine if he and Lex had any scenes together televisions across the nation exploded.

"I'm the question, and you're, of course, the answer."

2006-07-26T22:17:06Z

Ah, television, my love.

Two years ago, in the summer of 2004, I swore off television. Many of the shows I watched were quickly deteriorating in quality. Friends had ended, and Angel was unceremoniously staked (sorry) by The WB. So I swore off the television. It was as good a time as any I was making the move to college where I would need all that time for studying. BWA HAHAHAHAHA!!

That 2004-2005 season my heart was hard and cold to all things television. I had convinced myself, pretty decisively too, that I would take the path of a playwright. It took a super-smart, chlamydia-ridden, morally reprehensible but inexplicably lovable girl detective, a mean, crippled, Vicodin-addicted but inexplicably lovable Doctor, an evil, coarse, but inexplicably lovable saloon owner and pimp, and another doctor, this one insane and self-serving and stalked by his imaginary robot ex-girlfriend, but inexplicably lovable to warm my heart and make me realize that I was fooling myself and that television is my one true love. Well, it took all of them and a couple of recent events that really sunk in that whole not-having-money-makes-life-miserable into my head for good.

It figures that in that year of my television strike saw the rise of four shows that I now adore beyond belief, Veronica Mars, House, Deadwood and Battlestar Galactica which technically premiered before my strike, but the ballyhoo over it didn’t begin until late 2004.

I think the one event, though, that really completely brought back my faith in television was when Veronica was renewed beyond all reason. Seriously, I love the show, but it is consistently at the bottom of the ratings for its timeslot. Its renewal makes no sense, and it struck me that the senselessness of television can be a great thing and not just heartbreaking. Yeah, Deadwood won’t see a 4th season, but that show could have ended at its second season and I would have been pleased, because it was perhaps the most satisfying thing I’ve ever seen. I haven’t seen any of the 3rd season because we don’t have money for the HBO, but I’m certain that I’ll love it when I see it because I trust Milch.

All of that was basically to say, “I’m back, Television. This time for good,” and to give my impression of how the ol’ box is looking this year.

Let’s begin with summer. I remember summers being pretty much a dead time when it comes to TV, but things seem as busy as the on-season. There’s actually a lot I would like to watch, but because I’m working and catching up on my fall shows I’ve narrowed down my summer programming to two shows.

One is on BBC America and it’s actually a show that’s already run its course (i.e. CANCELLED) in the BBC NOT!America. It’s called Hex, and I started watching it because my impression from the ads was “Ooo, it’s Buffy! In England!” That’s how it began too. A blonde girl is given supernatural powers and must deal with them while at the same time attending school. Her best friend is even a lesbian, only not a magic-is-crack lesbian, more gets-killed-in-the-first-episode-then-comes-back-as-a-hilarious-ghost lesbian. Things quickly get un-Buffy, in a positive way. Hex is all about the sex and drinking and being very, very bad, and you’ll get no complaints from me. I was liking it a little more each week, until this past week episode where they did something INSANE that actually shocked me which is not something TV does easily to me. Sadly there are only 18 episodes total of this show and the one showing this week is number 8. It comes on Thursdays at 10, but hopefully they will give a marathon of the episodes like they’ve done before.

Now, it’s no secret that I hate, hate, HAAAAAAAAATE procedurals. The only one I could ever abide was Law and Order: SVU, but I still can’t watch it on a weekly basis. Then, there’s House which I love because of House and the Houseboys, and Cuddy, and the secret, off-screen love affair between House and Wilson. Cameron and her dead husband issues can shut up, though. Uh, back to the point, procedurals aren’t my thing, but I do enjoy detective shows with a twist, and the twist to USA Network’s Psych is that it is hilarious. Essentially it’s a classic whacky guy and straight man buddy comedy. The show is about a slacker that manages to actually be charming and not obnoxious with (I’m not kidding) the power of super-observation. His power is so keen he’s able to con the police into thinking he’s a psychic, and he drags his unwilling best friend in as his partner in his impromptu detective agency. Yes, it sounds stupid, and I can’t quite decide if its actually good, but what I do know is that I’m very entertained watching all the antics of the duo. I think what I like about it most is that the Crime-of-the-Week is really just a backdrop for these guys to be hilarious. This one’s on Fridays at 10 on USA, and I’d recommended it more than Hex because there’s pretty much no catch-up factor and it’s just innocent entertainment.

I’m bored and I’ve been reading a lot about the new shows coming this fall to the various networks. I haven’t seen any of the pilots or previews for any of these (Though, I’m pretty sure they’re easy enough to find), but I’ve narrowed down my list of shows I will give a chance to this fall based on print alone.

NBC

Heroes - Mondays at 9, Premieres September 25th - A few people around the world discover that they suddenly have superpowers, and you probably can figure out the rest. I just love people with superpowers, but if this one get clichéd or pretentious on me, I’m out.

Aaand that’s it for NBC. You need to try harder, guys.

CBS

The Class - Mondays at 8, Premieres ?? - Members of a third grade class reunite twenty years later, and I’m assuming hilarity ensues. That's really all I’ve heard, but for some reason I’m really drawn to this one.

That’s it for CBS, but they don’t have much room for new stuff what with the 3,429,038 CSIs (I really don’t like procedurals in case you were wondering.)

ABC

Betty the Ugly, I think they changed it to Ugly Betty - Fridays at 8, Premieres September 22nd – Okay, I saw a lot of the Colombian ( I think) telenovela that this is based on, and it was hilarious. It really struck a chord internationally, and produced several rip-offs, but this US version is official. It’s about an “ugly” girl working in fashion. I’ll probably watch the premiere, but that timeslot is death so we’ll see if it makes it.

Day Break - Midseason Wednesdays at 9 – Ah, detective show with a twist! That twist would be Groundhog Day. A guy must relive the same day over and over until he figures out who framed him for murder. I’m intrigued, but dubious about how exactly this will work as a series. I think my intrigue is really about how they’ll work with this premise, rather than the premise itself.

Six Degrees - Thursdays at 10 – A drama about six strangers and how their lives intersect in Manhattan. Produced by JJ Abrams. Oh, nevermind! JJ Abrams can rot in hell! Rot, I say! I will be actively not watching this and Lost and I hope it hurts JABRAMS! I'm not sure how exactly to actively not watch a show, but I'll figure something out.

The CW

Nothing new I want to watch.

FOX

Ditto.

Those are the premiering shows I'll be watching. I'll also, if I can catch up over this summer and like them, be watching My Name is Earl and The Office(Thursdays at 8 and 8:30, Premiere September 21st). And maybe How I Met Your Mother (Mondays at 8:30, premieres ?) as soon as I decide if it is Willow Rosenberg or Alyson Hannigan that I find annoying, but it will come on after The Class anyway so might as well stick around. I'll also be giving a second chance to Smallville(Thursdays at 8, Premieres September 28th) now that The WB is dead.

Of course, all of these are just shows which I will be trying out. My mainstays are:

Veronica Mars - Tuesdays at 9, Premieres October 3rd
House - Tuesdays at 9, Premieres September 5th
Battlestar Galactica - Fridays at 10, Premieres October 6th

Which of these new shows will I actually like? Which of all these will actually survive?

The answers these questions will most likely not be the same because such is life, but I’ve learned now that cancellations do not affect what’s in my heart, and that there is always an afterlife in DVDs.

I didn't LJ-Cut, just to be mean.

hekatides518 @ 2006-07-21T13:57:00

2006-07-21T18:07:43Z

Uh-oh.

I hate the world again.

Expect me sullen, morose and insane.

And I was doing so well with the enjoying the summer.

hekatides518 @ 2006-07-18T10:26:00

2006-07-18T14:31:25Z

Oh, The CW is trying to kill me.

They just set their premiere schedule and Veronica will not be premiering on September 19 like they had said, oh no.

OCTOBER 3rd!

That is almost 100 days away. It's 97 day 10 hours and 29 minutes away.

Strike one, The CW. I thought this would be a promising new start, but you're already pissing me off like your parents did so many times before.

"Get out of my dreams..."

2006-07-14T19:42:34Z

I think Charlotte is dying. She's making all sorts of wretched noises like she has Vehicular TB. I'd get her looked at, but we have no money so I will continue to drive her until she finally takes the off-ramp to that great big speedway in the sky. Hopefully she can last to the end of the summer at least.

I will fondly remember all the good times we had over the past five or six years, like... driving to school every morning? Driving to work? That one time we got lost in Gilbert and almost died? That other time when we took Robby to see Deaf Janet in Charleston? That really awkward drive to Atlanta with the Salvadorian cripple we didn't know? Sweet Jesus, Char, we're boring.

In via ite domini, Charlotte.

Aaaaaaaamaaaaaaaaazing graaaaaaaaaaaace
How sweeeeeeeeeet the souuuuuuuuuuuuuund...

"I wanna see you all on your knees, knees. You either want to be with me or be me."

2006-07-14T00:28:13Z

I just got a new lunchbox for work.

I wish I had a camera so I could show the world, because no words can do it justice.

It has a CAPE!

My new lunch box has a cape!

A CAPE!

"NO MORE MR. NICE GAIUS!!!"

2006-07-12T20:35:43Z

"When you were following your dream to become a writer, did you ever think that someday you would be using it to crush the dreams of others?"

I can only hope one day I'll be asked the same question.

Innyway, I read Watchmen by Alan Moore who also wrote V for Velveeta, -er Vendetta, ha that was totally unintentional so I'll leave it. Watchmen is crazy good and scary though maybe not as scary a Dark Knight Returns from the same era. It's pretty lofty for a comic book, and often I found myself thinking shut up, Alan Moore, but still so many layers requiring multiple readings is never a bad thing. I enjoyed it lots and lots.

Another thing I'm starting enjoy lots and lots is Battlestar Galactica. So much fun. Baltar! Six! Baltar and Six!! Cylons! Religiousness! Politics! The Olmos! Starbuck! Well, Starbuck can shut the hell up and die, but other than that great show! I'm betting the Cylon's secret plan is babies. All this show needs is some space hookers.
But the greatest gift Battlestar has given me is that an old show with a great deal of unfulfilled potential can be successfully remade. This gift is important because I have a certain show I want to remake in some future time. Of course, the original Battlestar lasted like 20 episodes while my show went for 8 seasons. On the other hand the old Battlestar had a cult following that much resisted a remake while my show will be forgotten within the year and most who watched it thought it was crap, but they were masochistic enough to keep tuning in each week. Pros and Cons to everything.

Hee, "Pros".

Fall will be an exciting time as I barely have class, but I will have four FOUR shows that I'll be watching. I haven't had that many shows since high school.

Ha, "barely have class", sometimes the jokes write themselves.

"And like a callous, cold, callous woman, she never know what she did done."

2006-07-09T14:36:31Z

Hahahahahahahahaha!

I'm awesome, basically, cause I just finished my first full-length screenplay!

Well, finished in that I've reached the end. There's still a lot... A LOT of work to be done on it. Right now, you can see all the places where I stitched together all the genres and it's going to take a good bit of work to make romantic comedy/political thriller/futuristic/buddy/action/epic sci-fi seem seamless. Work that will be done on winter break or maybe even next summer.

Still, I'm very happy that I've written a 115 page mess. Cause 115 is a lot.

And I'm already thinking: Sequel! or even Series!. I think writing this movie just led me to this other idea that is even better or at least I love a great deal more. It would be a little bit Angel , a little bit Alias and a little bit rock n' roll. And it will have an awesome name, Soledad. Is it a spanish soap opera? Close. It's a primetime soap with all sorts of ass-kicking and stuff.

Soledad is added to my list. But next is... I'm not sure. I have my School of Sappho which is what was supposed to be next, but like two weeks ago my Revelations project finally clicked. I'll probably just end up working on all three at the same time and get none of them done.

No matter what this has already been the most productive summer in forever.

"And when she walks she walks with passion."

2006-07-01T17:37:34Z

I'm at work on a Saturday. That's all kinds of wrong.

Oh, well, let's update instead of actually working, okay?

Pretty much the only thing I have going on right now is TV. So let's start with the embarrassing.

I watched Melrose Place this morning because... I was trapped under my couch and unable to reach the remote? No? Because I wanted to honor the memory the recently departed Aaron Spelling? No? Okay, it was because I was channel surfing and I see Lisa Rinna onscreen and I squealed out, "It's Logan's mom! From nine years ago! Her lips are so much smaller!" Then before I could change the channel Alyssa Milano came onscreen and I was like "Phoebe! You looks so healthy!" Cause the 2006 Milano (sounds like a car)looks like a hag made out of sticks. I guess that's the price of getting rode hard. (Ziiing!) I recently learned that La Milano is a UNICEF, I think, ambassador, and I can only imagine that when she goes to visit the starving children, they're the ones that offer her something to eat. Whenever I hear "UNICEF Ambassador" I think of Clay Aiken, and it scares me. Shudder.

Anyways, Melrose Place, God, I can't remember the last time I was so entertained in that way. Most of the time, nowadays, when watching something my Writer Brain is just ON. I'm analyzing plotting, dialogue, character, and so on. There's just no such thing as a casual viewing anymore. Well, I knew what I was getting into with Melrose so I turned by brain OFF, and goddamn if it wasn't hilarious. I think everyone involved knew the show was ridiculous, and they just went with it. Scheming bitches, Moronic Men, it's awesome in that way Paternity Test episodes of Maury are awesome as long as the brain is set to OFF. I'm not looking to go out and watch the whole series on DVD (It's not even out...), but if I see an episode on, I'll watch it and laugh at all those crazy bitches.

And now the slightly less embarrassing. I also watched the Miniseries or what was the Pilot for the new Battlestar Galactica, a show which is much loved by its viewers, but I've avoided because of the stink of space. It's weird, but I have little tolerance for things set in space. The exception being Firefly/Serenity because Joss Whedon could write a movie about baseball and I'd be all over that saying how it's the bestest thing about baseball ever done. But yeah, I have no problem with a vampire with a soul fighting for redemption in L.A., but you put people in a spaceship and I'm out. The handful of episodes of Star Trek (A few kinds)I've seen have bored me to no end, and, well, this isn't something I publicize too much because I already get enough heat for not loving Lord of the Rings and stroking Tolkien's rotting corpse, but I really don't like Star Wars (any of them). As a kid they put me to sleep (which is why I never actually saw the whole movies until like a year ago.), and if you take Harrison Ford out of the equation the movies would simply blow harder than a guy who names his son Frodo blows Tolkien's rotting corpse.

Uh, gross. And what was my point? Oh, yeah. I hate space, but the right sources said good things about Battlestar so I decided to give it a chance. And, it's... alright. It was all setup so it's really hard to see what the show would be like on a weekly basis. So maybe I should save this until I've seen more, but I like going through my first impressions. I guess it suffer from that pilot effect where everything has to be exposited so that things can be set in motion and the only pilot that I can remember that did that really well, was the one for Veronica Mars. I will thank Battlestar for not weighing me down with technobabble, and for the sex. I can tell there will be lots of sex going on in the Galactica, and I am pleased. Otherwise this three hour ordeal was one sci-fi cliche after another, but every once in a while there's a spark of awesomeness. These sparks and the promise that the show gets really, really good are enough to make me want to watch the rest of the DVDs until I decide if it blows or not. Also, for like two seconds you can see a Firefly flying in the sky. And if you think I didn't squeal in delight, you are very wrong and also it's nice to meet you.

Oh, and shut up, Starbuck. A lot. Then die. Please.

Why haven't I seen Superman Returns yet?

Oh, right, I have plenty of time what with a SEVEN day opening weekend. There's big openings and then there's just obnoxious.

Hee, "big openings".

I'm done for now, I promise.

This is why Joss Whedon and I should be like total BFFs

2006-06-30T17:27:55Z

Q: Who could you take in a fight?

Joss Whedon: God. I'm constantly yelling at Him. A lot of my writers are quite religious, and I'm always yelling, "Come on! Strike me down! Wuss!" I don't know why I have such anger toward somebody who doesn't exist.

AMERICA!

2006-06-28T15:11:03Z

Today is a great day!

For one thing, Superman Returns is out! But I won't see it until Friday anyway.

No, the greatness is that I can now officially apply to become a citizen of the United States! I can't believe how happy I am. I mean, I knew I'd be happy and this will be a very good thing for me, but I didn't imagine I'd feel so happy. I can only imagine how it's gonna feel when it's official.

Yeah, I'm way excited. I'm filling out my application right now instead of actually working. It's pretty awesome. Here's a sampling of questions:

Have you ever been a member of or in any way associated (either directly or indirectly) with:
a. The Communist Party?
b. Any other totalitarian party?
c. A terrorist organization?

Have you ever advocated (either directly or indirectly) the overthrow of any government by force or violence?

Have you ever persecuted (either directly or indirectly) any person because of race, religion, national origin, membership in a particular social group or political opinion?

Between March 23, 1933 and May 8, 1945, did you work for or associate in any way (either directly or indirectly) with:
a. The Nazi government of Germany?
b. Any government in any area (1) occupied by, (2) allied with, or (3) established with the help of the Nazi government of Germany?
c. Any German, Nazi, or S.S. military unit, paramilitary unit, self-defense unit, vigilante unit, citizen unit, police unit, government agency or office, extermination camp, concentration camp, prisoner of war camp, prison, labor camp or transit camp?

Have you ever:
Been a habitual drunkard?
Been a prostitute, or procured anyone for prostitution?
Been married to more than one person at the same time?

Man, am I ever glad I didn't go with my plan to become a whore to pay for school. It could have totally put my citizenship in jeopardy.

After I fill out this application and submit $400 dollars (Yikes!), I get to take a test of my English and of Civics by being asked to write or say things like "Martha Washington was the first first lady." Then prove that I have a good moral character and an attachment to the constitution by reciting this oath:

I hereby declare, on oath, that I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state, or sovereignty, of whom or which I have heretofore been a subject or citizen;
that I will support and defend the Constitution and laws of the United States of America against all enemies, foreign and domestic;
that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same;
that I will bear arms on behalf of the United States when required by the law;
that I will perform noncombatant service in the Armed Forces of the United States when required by the law;
that I will perform work of national importance under civilian direction when required by the law; and
that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; so help me God.

The whole process should take... I have no clue. I hope not like a really long time cause I hate waiting.

In the words of Mr. Wu, "AMERICA!" I guess that's in the word of Mr. Wu.

AMERICA!

Move your body around like a nympho!

2006-06-24T01:02:13Z

So I just finished season two of Deadwood.

Holy fucking Christ!

It was the best thing I've seen on any screen big or small. Rob Thomas, JABRAMS and even you Joss are pygmies compared to the Titan that is David Milch.

Yeah, even Joss.

Sure as fuck, them's fightin' words.

Although the comparison may be unfair considering HBO is a completely different beast from network television. It's not TV, and so on.

Now I have no shame in saying that I on occasion find myself getting teary at moments of my shows, moments. But I was in fucking tears for the whole of the last three goddamn episodes of the season. That's THREE HOURS of my blubbering like a crack whore who forgot her baby outside in a crack induced stupor then comes to her senses and finds her baby mauled by a rabid dog then she picks up her baby who give a little cry so the the crack whore is relieved that her baby is alive, and she runs along the street, but in her excitement she drops the baby head over heels in a bucket of water drowning the baby. It was like that.

Season two of Deadwood, absolutely the best thing I've seen in my life.

And of course, it just got axed. Because I Manuel am a show killer. I killed Angel and Arrested Development, now Deadwood. I seriously don't know how Veronica Mars survived. It's my M.O. I decide to try out a show. I obtain the DVDs and watch to catch up. I fall in love. I watch the new season of the show. A few episodes into the season the show gets cancelled while the likes of Alias and Charmed survive long after I give up on them because they turn into complete crap.

So watch out House. You may be next.

Womp!

2006-06-20T11:32:08Z

So this is the time of summer in which I complain to no end about how much I hate South Carolina and how spending the summer here makes me want to jab anything sharp into my ears and how I would rather have my finger and toenails removed one by one with a rusty utensil than have to work another day, and so on.

But, uh, yeah, it's not so bad. I'm actually feeling well-rested for the first time in a while cause this last semester was rough. So yeah, getting back to my natural sleep schedule has been pretty great.

Work has been bearable to enjoyable depending on what I'm doing that day. I was going to look for another job since this one wasn't enough hours, but they're offering me an extra hour each day plus another day for an extra 11 hours each week. I was a little reluctant to agree to this at first, but yeah another $100 dollars a week? It would be stupid to refuse that. Plus things are about to pick up since they've just bought a new design software that will be keep me occupied in a fun way for weeks.

Also, I finally, finally finished East of Eden which I started reading what feels like five years ago. Finals kinds got in the way. Then I read Fast Food Nation which scared me like nothing else ever has. But this past week I picked it up again. I knew when I was reading before it was quickly moving to the top of my favorites list. Now, having finished it, it is tied for with 100 Years of Solitude for my favorite book ever. Of course after reading it, I just felt like I shouldn't bother writing anymore. Everything, everything I want to say about life, good and evil, God, even whores, it's all in there better said than I ever could. So many times while I was reading, all these thing I've tired to say are laid out plain as day. So I went from East of Eden to a book that has the Posthumously published works of Mark Twain most notably what I bought the book for Letters from the Earth , and oh, man, Mark Twain, you are hilarious, The book is a series of letters Satan writes to Michael and Gabriel after he's banished to Earth for a day for saying something bitchy to God. All Satan does is make fun of Christianity. Again, all these things I want to say but said much better than I could.

Oh, well, it's not like I'm gonna quit trying. I think another thing that's made this summer better is that I'm actually writing. Last summer I let my SC hate turn me into a void of creativity. Not so now. I just hit page 90 of Risus. 90! I still got 30 to go. This is gonna be an honest to God two hour movie. Yeah, it's gonna need about a million rewrites, because unlike Maliton this one didn't erupt from my head perfectly formed, but still I will have written 120 pages. It's taking some real work, but the best kind. Hopefully I'll be done with this first draft before the end of the month. Then the task for July will be that Lesbifest that began as my FSA project. I got a feeling that one should be pretty easy considering I wrote the first twenty pages in about two hours. After Hot Lesbians on Parade is a screenplay version of Maliton because I'm starting to see it now. It's not really a question of making it better, but I just really want to see what I can do with it. After this screenplay-filled summer I'll finally get to another play which will be for Playwriting with DIGGS. Right now all I have is a protagonist, his occupation and a title, Puppies Don't Have Souls. No plot or theme to speak of, but it'll come. My last idea I have no idea what medium would be best for it. The idea is basically "The Book of Revelations According to Nando" so an actual book is one option, albeit a scary one for the thought of tackling a novel terrifies me to the bone. It just occurred to me that the most perfect way to tell what I'm planning would be on HBO. Twelve tightly and well budgeted episodes might be just right. Yeah, that'll probably work out cause it's so easy getting a show on HBO.

All in all, I'm really, really enjoying my summer. And while I'm way excited to go back to school and NYC, I don't miss it that much.

Who knew?

Happy Father's Day!

2006-06-18T14:21:38Z

Aw, Keith and Jack! Keith and Jack!

For sure, the best two dads ever to have been on television.

I'd gladly trade my dad for either of you in a heartbeat.

Seriously, Spy Daddy, Mr. Mars, let me be your son.

"S-O-S. Please someone help me. It's not healthy for me to feel this."

2006-06-16T19:04:47Z

I have just been witness to one of the grossest things to smear across human history:

Two people having sex in a car at a McDonald's parking lot.

I mean, c'mon! McDonald's?

Nasty.

To quote Tina: Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?

2006-06-05T20:05:04Z

Yeah, you know what, Love? SHUT UP.

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

2006-05-31T01:30:11Z

Lily on House!!!!

Lily on House!!!!

Lily on House!!!!

Lily on House!!!!

Lily on House!!!!

X-3 The Last Stand, Maybe, we'll see how it does.

2006-05-27T23:21:51Z

X-Men 3, the short version
The Good:
Verizon Ad playing "Promiscuous". Looks like you made it, Nelly.
Preview for Snakes on a Plane!!
Preview for The Omen 666!!
From The Actual Movie: Kitty Pryde! Mutant cure! That's it!

The Meh to Bad:
Everything else.

JOSS WHEDON SHOULD HAVE WRITTEN AND DIRECTED IT!!

X-Men 3, The Long Version

So this movie should have been like five hours long. Of course I can't support a five hour movie. So really the question is: is this supposed to be the last one? The Last Stand certainly points towards that conclusion. I know trilogies are nice, but an hour and forty-four minutes was not long enough to support everything that this movie was trying to do. There was just too much. Too many characters and not enough movie. As a result, things just happened and there was little to no resonance. Even Wolverine, who's supposed to be the star, suffered a lot from the movie being spread out too thinly. What it comes down to is because of all the plot we lost all characterization. All characterization. Which is, like, not good, guys. Cause that means when something happens to that character like say getting disintegrated into the air, you don't really care. I guess they were trying to ride the wave of characterization of the Singer films, but I haven't watched those since X-2 came out so I don't really remember what everyone was like. What this movie needed is a writer that could handle a cast of many while giving each character enough of an arc and depth to matter. Maybe a writer that wrote a space western with a cast of nine?

Or me. Ensemble casts are my thing. I totally could have done it, ya'll, and it would have been awesome.

Even that might not be enough though. They should have chosen which story to tell. Dark Phoenix or the Mutant Cure. I'm guessing the plan after X-2 was to do the Dark Phoenix saga, but that would involve a great deal of Cyclops. BUT when Bryan Singer left the franchise for bigger pastures (Superman Returns, doesn't get any bigger), he took James Marsden (Cyclops, Lois Lane's husband) with him. This is why Cyclops bites it in like the first five minutes (OOOPS! SPOLIER!!). Of course, it might also have something to do with Halle Berry bitching about wanting a bigger part. Anyway, without Cyclops the whole Phoenix thing wouldn't have as much of an emotional fallout. So they decide to bulk up the story by lifting something from Joss Whedon's Astonishing X-Men, the cure. They did try to link the two and I think it worked with the whole, "Are the blocks X put on Jane's powers the same as the cure?" The problem is they ask the question and then it kinda gets dropped what with Professor X getting all dead (OOOOPS! SPOILER AGAIN!!!). They also could have explored the cure a little more or at least how it effects the X-Men individually. Okay, so I guess Rogue getting the cure for herself (Damn! Spoiler again!) was supposed to be the ambiguity in the group, but she pops up like twice in the movie so you forget she's supposed to be in the group. Basically an example of what was so very wrong with this movie. She does something and she has a good enough motivation to do it, but we don't spend enough time with her decision to actually get any impact from it.

Aaaaaaand now for the presumptuous part of today's post,

How I would have fixed this movie
No Dark Phoenix. No Cyclops. Jean would be dead and Scott would be on sabbatical trying to find himself or something stupid like that. I would focus the story on the young X-men, especially Kitty Pryde cause she's my favorite of all the X-men. Except I would definitely cast someone else. Ellen Page was fine, but she just looks too young. She looks like she's twelve and so when we have Bobby, who looks like he's in his twenties, flirting with her, it's just a little weird. But yeah, it would be all about the kids coming of age and whatnot under the differing tutelages of Storm and Wolverine. Then the cure would come out and things would go crazy. I'd probably keep all of Magneto's side about the same, except I would never depower Mystique (Oh, spoiled again). I also would really like to involve Emma Frost too, but that might be too much. And all along we'll have some fun with that Rogue loves Iceman, but Iceman maybe more interested in Kitty who definitely returns the interest. Also interested in Kitty is Colossus, and what the hell, let's throw Gambit in there for good measure. A pentagram of love. It would be hilarious. Then, you know, stuff would happen. Fights, explosions, etc. etc. Kitty ends up with Colossus, Gambit with Rogue and poor heartbroken Bobby "Iceman" Drake would leave. The end.

Then there would be a 4th movie where we could deal with Jean, or not. I don't really care about her or Scott or Wolverine. I like the youngn's.

I really do like the X-Men. I think there's a lot to mine for with them. The chief thing and what interests me the most is the idea of how power affects different people. The whole Spider-Man progression (Powers? Neat! -> Oh, no. I must be careful with them ->I reject these powers -> I must accept them.) is pretty tired I think. With X-Men, you have a nice set of characters to work with, and there's just really so much to be done there. What I'm saying is, I want to write the next X-Men movie. Seeing as they killed almost everyone except the characters I like I can totally still do the movie I described up there. Except that seeing as the cure's been done that just leaves all of the relationship stuff so it'll be X-4: The O.C.

My mind, she races.

Promiscuous Girl, you teasin' me. You know what I want and I got what you need.

2006-05-25T23:08:32Z

Dear New Boss,
Thank you very much for this job. You should probably know I that I have nowhere near the knowledge of computers that you think I do. Hopefully you won't figure this out before I leave. But then I again I totally figured out that landscaping software in like two hours and now I can landscape design like the best of them. I'm not sure when exactly this new skill will come in handy, but I'll shelve it away with my other random computer skills.
Your Newest and Brightest Employee.

Dear Right Hand Woman of New Boss,
You're a bitch.
The person That Secretly Hates You.

Dear Cute Copy Shop Girl,
Man, I totally just thought of a hilarious pick-up line! Instead of just coming up to you and asking "Can you enlarge this blue print?", I should have cocked an eyebrow and been like "I bet you can enlarge this for me." And it would have been awesome. Ha, cute copy shop girl reminds me of Friends, "WE WERE ON A BREAK!"
The Person That Knows Where to Go Whenever He Needs an Enlargement

Dear Little Asian Girl,
Why are you trying to eat your arm?
A Concerned Citizen.

Dear Ugly Fat Kid in the Back of the Pick-Up,
Quit staring at me.
A Creeped Out Driver.

Dear New Boss's Dog,
I'm very glad you're fond of me, but quit sticking your snout there.
Just Wants to Be Friends.

Dear Brad Kern,
Why did you have to ruin Charmed?
Feeling Nostalgic.

Dear Justin Timberlake,
Wait... What? Did you just happen to be around the soundstage when they were filming the video for "Promiscuous"? Cause, yeah, what the hell?
Seriously, What the Hell?

Dear Nelly Furtado,
Is this who you're hanging around with now? Well, it could be worse. It could be Lachey. I guess if you're gonna dance with a former boy bander, Timberlake's the one. I mean, I'm glad for you. "Promiscuous" is currently the number one downloaded song on iTunes, but I really hope you have some substance in Loose too. If "Promiscuous" weren't more addicting than crack, I would be very disappointed in you. Of course, I could never really be disappointed in you. You are my vision of ideal womanliness. Every female protagonist I write looks exactly like you. You can pretty much do whatever you want and I'll follow blindly.
Your Baby's Daddy.

Dear Shakira,
I get it. You hips don't lie. I never, never thought I'd complain about you being overplayed. Can we move on now?
Loves You, but Seriously Enough.

Dear Joss Whedon,
I need something new from you. Quit watching Veronica Mars and House and get to work. Goners, Wonder Woman, I need something new from you.
Misses You Bad
P.S. You totally should have written and directed X-3. They totally stole your idea from Astonishing X-Men, anyway. Even one of the posters from the movie is an exact copy of the cover for the first issue you wrote in the series.

Dear Rob Thomas and Co.,
I think I totally figured out some stuff about Kendall's briefcase. If I'm right, I'm gonna feel so smart. Veronica Mars is Smarter Than Me, but Only by a Little.

Dear God,
Are you there, it's me, Manny.

You're a marshmallow, Dr. House.

2006-05-24T01:49:41Z

I started work today. It was so fun I stayed and extra half hour.

Or rather, it was so nice not to be home for an extended period of time that I lost track of time.

I spent the whole day teaching myself a pair of softwares (is it "softwares"?) so that I could then teach them to the employees of the landscaping bid'ness. It's a weird job, but it's a good thing I'm good at this sort of thing.

The day went by pretty fast, but I hope that wasn't because of the "newness" of the place (It probably was). Oh, well, it's not that many hours per week, which might be bad. There's no way I'm gonna make enough to stay away from SC next summer. I did the numbers today and what I'm making, minus expenses (like gas, goddamn) does not from South Carolina save me. So the job search continues.

My accounting there also didn't account for my big (expensive) weakness, TV on DVD. I'm gonna try really, really not to do it. I mean, I have to buy season two of Veronica and season three of Arrested, which come out at the end of August and a week apart. (Aw, I just remembered, I bought season one of Veronica and season two of Arrested Development together.)There's no going around those two because they are supreme, but the rest of my DVD list City of God, All About My Mother, season two of Deadwood (I got season one finally!), season two of Alias (I pretend the show ended there, no need for 3-5), seasons 4-10 of Friends, and House will have to wait.

Oh, House. It took you eight episodes, but you have me, completely. The show is your basic procedural show along the lines of CSI: Wherever and Law and Order: Uh, >insert joke about rapist here<, but unlike those shows we have some beautiful and subtle (I'm looking at you Grey's Anatomy with your boobness and group showers) character development. But what about HoYay!, you say? Well, there enough between Doctor House and Doctor Wilson to rival the Pantheon of HoYay! between Weevil and Logan and Seth and Sol. The only thing that would make the show better is some incest, even if it turns out to be non-incest.
This is the part where I tell you to get hold of the DVDs and make sure you watch it next season, and you should get hold of the DVDs, but if you're gonna watch a show on Tuesday nights at 9PM, watch Veronica Mars. This makes for a sad predicament for me next season. Of course I need to finish catching up (Hey, Universal, can we get a release date on season 2, c'mon!).

Hmm, there are a lot of parentheses in this post.

And now, I'm gonna try to write some for the first time since the train here. I must finish draft one of Risus before May ends.

Oh, and at work I have an actual punch card! This is the first job I've had that used those for real. Isn't it cute?

Mmmm, Tax refund.

2006-05-22T18:40:39Z

I love surprise money.